[Intro]
G# G#7 C#sus2 D#7sus4 D#7
[Verse]
G# G#7
Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
C#sus2 D#7sus4 D#7
And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
G# G#7
A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele
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He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen
[Verse]
G# G#7
If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
C#sus2 D#7sus4 D#7
Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
G# G#7
He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
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He maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend
[Chorus]
G# G#7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
C#sus2 D#7sus4 D#7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
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Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
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And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele
[Bridge]
C#sus2 D#7
Ukulele small and forceful, ukulele, brave and peaceful
G# C#sus2
You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
C#sus2 D#7
Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
F#6
Ukulele banish evil, ukulele save the people,
Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
[Verse]
G# G#7
Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks
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Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
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If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
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Had lost the plot completely, see what happens when you muzzle
[Verse]
G# G#7
A person's creativity and do not let them sing and scream
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And nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns
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It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
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About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb you do the math-s-
[Chorus]
G# G#7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
C#sus2 D#7sus4 D#7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
G# G#7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
C#sus2 D#7sus4 D#7
And bring your flask of Jack to work and play your ukulele
[Bridge]
C#sus2 D#7
Ukulele, thing of wonder, ukulele, wand of thunder
G# C#sus2
You can play the ukulele too in London and Down Under
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Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and Neutral Milk
F#6
Tell the children crush the hatred, play your ukulele naked
If anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it
[Verse]
G# G#7
Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs
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Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
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Now imagine if John Lennon had composed "Imagine" for the ukulele
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Maybe people would have truly got the message
[Verse]
G# G#7
You may think my approach is simple-minded and naive
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Like if you want to change the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
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But people for millennia have needed music to survive
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And that's why I've promised John that I will not feel guilty
[Verse]
G# G#7
So play your favorite Beatles song and make the subway fall in love
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They're only $19.95, that isn't lots of money
G# G#7
Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer
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Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele
[Verse]
G# G#7
Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard
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Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily
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You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic
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Holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele
[Verse]
G# G#7
Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark
C#sus2
And bring your flask of Jack to work, your etch-a-sketch, your vibrator
your fear of heights, your Nikon lens
[Verse]
G# G#7
Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from "Karate Kid"
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Your Ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD
G# G#7
Your favorite room, your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye
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Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your Nick Drake tapes, your giving tree
G# G#7
Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry
C#sus2
Remember we're all going to die
G# G#
so play your ukulele